What a Day! Hang over= first prize.

The day was lazy, the troll had lunch at a restaurant with Kinkke. Went to the studio, had a cider, and there it all begun. Kinkke and the troll talked for hours, about life, travelling (of course), volountary work and frankly a lot of shiet. Were at world's funniest little bar, the troll had someone humpping her leg, oh well, quess those things happen. Ended up at a nightclub, met some sailors that serious drink like cave men and want everyone around them as dead drunk... And they managed. The wanting phone calls didn't fool trollet, she went home and slept like a cave women. Can one say that? Sleeping like a cave women.. well why not, one can say anything one wants, basically.

Today trollet managed to crawl out of bed at 4p.m, fresh, yes, she knows. A friend visited, nice. Then trollet has packed her bag, sort of. She is going to the lighthouse tomorrow morning, actually quite nice. Same story: wind, sea, nice co-workers and hopefully a refreshed feeling when back.

When back she hopes that the mind is ready to work, and the lump write. The troll needs to write and think, maybe the other way around, first think then write. Then she might go and see the object, maybe. The object is apparently visiting the troll. Interesting.

Tuesday, rain, unmotivation, and something like that.

Looking out the window isn't motivating. It is grey and wet. Maybe it should be motivating, at least one doesn't want to be outside, not even the troll. Perfect time to study,one would think, but nah. The idea of entering the warm cave, turn on the tv or attack the book which is capturing trollet's attention seems much nicer. The troll also feels like a cold is coming her way, oh no, trying to run, but it is fast, oh so fast.

Yesterday was different. The sun was shining, the troll was offered a long lovely breakfast, and a long lunch + coffee in a cozy garden. Later she went over to a lump's house and watched two films. Did she even open up 'word'? nah, but she ignores that fact. She was smiling, and the evening ended with a one hour phone call. The troll was almost surprised, yet not. Lots was discussed. Plans of some sort were made. Ideas were shared. Critique was given. And laughs occured.

Another weekend of madness and good times.

The troll had a party at her place and laughed so much that she almost cried. Finland won the eurovision song contest, hah, not that the troll cares terribly about it, but still quite funny.The troll had a wonderful lump visiting from Helsinki. The lump is wonderful, smart, lovely, soft, warm, beautiful, fun and fantastic to discuss with.

The object has been taking quite actively contact. Does the troll like it? yes she does, she really does, even though she doesn't know anythig more than that,and she doesn't have to either. Turns were made so fast and contact so intense that the troll got scared and wanted to hide to get some time to think and breath. Now she is getting the time she needed, good. It is good to have time to look around, think and not freak out by too much attention. The troll likes the object, but how much? Can one, on the other, hand measure how much one likes another? Nah, no measuring, just pondering. Ok, that sounds better. Maybe she will go and look at the object. Would she get angry again? Hopefully not.

The troll got lots done on her thesis as well, yes, finally it feels like an end is possible to see, even though much needs to be done. What will happen next week? Well, the thesis needs more tender loving care and the troll is going, on thursday, to the lighthouse for 11 days. Good with some money, time and space away from it all, no alcohol, physical labour, so yes, it will be alright. Hopefully the troll will feel as refreshed as she did the last time she came back. The troll needs to sing a bit. Oh, the mind says. Ok, here we go:... la..la la ...la...lala.Oh, what a lovely feeling.

Life is getting back to normal, the troll thinks.

The troll went swimming today in an outdoor pool for an hour. That did wonders to the restless mind and lump. The troll also met her supervisor about her thesis and felt it went very well, or at least it will not be impossible to finish it.

Life in general is maybe calming down a bit, or at least compared to the last insane days, since the troll made some decision and since one intruder is not in her presence while the other intruder would like to be, but will not be able to. One can never know if not trying to find out. What did the troll find out?

Hmmm, well sometimes changes are even faster than expected, and not unwillingly. Sometimes it is ashame and also wrong to get so bloody angry, with or without a relevant reason, that others never get the chance to say what they need to say. But in this case the troll knows that the object will say, one day. The object needs, wants and feels. The troll will let the object talk and will listen, but reconsider? Was it really so bad? The troll needs to consult the mind.

The other intruder will not be allowed to speak. The troll shall not listen as it is irrelevant. It is very irrelevant even though it is nice, very nice, too nice. Yes, that is what it is, too nice. How can something be too nice? Can it really? Is it all about self deception? Nah, the troll doesn't have self-deception as a hobby.

What the bloody hell is the troll up to?

The mind has no idea of what is going on. This was defenitely one of those "too fast" unpredictable turns.. very fast, very mad, very nice, very forbidden, very stupid, very ...erm... nuts the troll screams. What the bloody fuck was the mind thinking? The troll needs to hide in her cave and keep a low profile for a few days. Get a grip my lovely friend. Get a grip. Seriously.

Madness, lots of madness and joy.

What a weekend is the only thing the troll can say. Unexpected turns and events. Lots of joy. The unity is silent, what to say, what to think. No idea. Just enjoy. Enjoy the simplicity, the joy it brings, the madness, the unknown. The troll is not in a state of confusion, just peacefullness. More of this.

The troll is waving from the cave.

Another day of hanging around, sitting in the sun, meeting some very interesting new people which is always a bonus, and of course not getting anything done. ah, no stress. One has to stop once in a while,look around at the places and especially the people, and make the best out of it. What is life is one rushes through it being stressed, sad, irritated, heartbroken and so on? Not much, the mind states. Stopping isn't though always easy to do, or remember to do. The mind whispers that one needs to find a certain state of mind first before one can simply stopp and enjoy. The lump on the other hand likes when there is plenty of action around her and ponders if stopping isn't a bit boring. The troll laughes at the silly discussion. Action is good but so is stopping, and so it is decided that, that is the way it is.

Will Karin be right in her vision about trollet's near future? The mind has no clue what so ever. Does the troll want karin to be right? The mind once again says: no idea. We'll see, that is all the troll wants to declare. Sometimes karin has been right, but then again sometimes the troll makes so fast turns that not even Karin has a clue of what is going on. The troll was told a few days ago that she is quite unpredictable in her turns, and it is always interesting to be a bystander to see what will happen next. Is it really so, the troll asks herself? of course the troll thinks she lives an average life, but hmm, maybe not. Oh well, smiling continues and so does drinking. A release party tonight with cheap booze, sounds perfect.

Sun, hang over, happiness and weird phonecalls.

The troll has enjoyed the sun at various river boats and terrasses, not getting any work done what so ever. The unity has enjoyed friends, a lovely drunken satisfaction, crap nightclub, live music that wasn't that great, afterparties, strange phone calls, even a straight forward bootycall in the afternoon which made the lump blush and the mind laugh madly and of course not accepting the offer. Bootycalls don't exactly happen everyday, so what can one do except laugh? In one way it is very funny, especially getting the bootycall while sitting at a meeting, in another way it makes the mind say HEY, what do think?? Does the person really think the troll would go? Then again, the two of them do have a past. Oh well, the weather makes people go mad.

The lump, mind and the troll is still feeling like a connected unity, and very content with everything around her. The sun makes the troll smile, her eyebrows white, and her nose very red. She appreciates her friends, they are the greates. She also enjoys the strange things that happen around her, at least life isn't boring. It's all good. Ah, what a lovely feeling to say so: "everything feels good" even though the thesis is still on hold, and a bloody hangover is present. But still, all is good.

The unity is back to the city.

Ten days at the lighthouse did wonders to the unity. Let me tell you about my time there:
The troll finally get to the harbour after 2 boats and 2 ferries, jumped in a little motor boat (got private transport) felt the wind in the hair, smiled. Got surprised by the amount of ice still in the sea, the wind was cold, very cold. The lighthouse appeared in the horisont, the troll smiled even more. Some of the island still covered in ice, brrr.

Worked like a mad troll as plenty of tourists were suppose to come the next day, 25 of them spending the night. Well the wind increased and no one was able to get to the tiny island for 7 days. So there the troll was alone with an older man, boss's husband. Prepared everything for the season, and enjoyed the quietness,the wind and the lonelyness. 2 constructers were finally able to get there as they are fixing the tower, so there i was with them a few days until 30 army dudes appeared. So finally i wasn't all alone as somewhere around me i had over 30 men. They were very happy to see the female troll there and gave her lots of attention.

Then another girl came there, who i work with. The troll and the girl had a lot of fun, lots to do, tourists, lunches, dinners, breakfasts, swinging an axe around chopping wood, quiding, and laughing until we were blue in the face at bad kitchen humor. The troll was in charge at the lighthouse when boss's husband was gone, and well of course the generator (don't get electricity from the mainland) stopped. so, the troll had to play hero and go around checking the three generators wondering what had caused it and was able to turn one on, heh.

The troll is very happy with the 10 days, was fun to do physical labour, chopping wood, carrying 2000kg of cement, being physically exhausted in the evening, dirty, bruised, and hungry. The time alone also caused a lot of pondering about old things, the mind shouldn't ponder about anymore, felt sad, actually regretted things. Then the wind shouted to the mind that hey, stop, enjoy the sea! and so the unity did. At the moment the unity feels connected, we'll see for how long.
Good to be back, and meet lovely friends.