Night before leaving to the lighthouse.
Has been a good day, karin join the gang of 26 year olds, cider in the sun, job interview, talk with Olli, beers at Gringo and such things. Can't complain still the mind is not jumping of joy.
This is though the usual feeling before heading out to the tiny island, check this out: http://www.bengtskar.fi/images/ollihas5.JPG
I do enjoy the lighthouse, the island, the wind, particularly the sea, mostly the people i work with but still the feeling, before leaving, is always melancolic, more restless than normally and rather sad. It is neither the fact to be at work for 10 days. Nor is it the fact to be so isolated from friends, internet, city life, bars and so on, as i do enjoy taking a break every now and then. What is it then?
Well, as a matter of fact it is probably just a mental preparation. It will be alright once i see the sea and feel the wind in my hair, and once the lighthouse appears as a tiny dot in the horisont. Then the troll smiles and forgets about everything and everyone that spinns around like a hamster in her mind. She focuses on sucking up the atmosphere, and ooooh, what a atmosphere it is.
See you on monday the 8th.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
Alright, here we go, wednesday it is.
Saw the movie: V for vendetta, yesterday, liked it, made the mind dream of a revolution the lump was in charge off, against capitalism, wearing strange clothes. On the way home the troll met a friend in the bushes, a nice friend.
About the unity: mind + lump, i would like to quote Foucault: "A 'soul' inhabits him and brings him to existence, which is itself a factor in the mastery that power exercises over the body. The soul is the effect and instrument of a political anatomy; the soul is the prison of the body" YES, the troll agrees, so it is.
Hard to concentrate, the mind states. Tension in the air, something is about to happen, the lump whispers. oooh? what could it be? An unknown lump wants to meet the troll, could it be that? Noo, says the troll taking a step backwards. No unknown lumps will get the permission to met the troll, the mind declares. Okey, so it is then. Or it is? Yes it is, the mind screams and looks overwrought.
Music! The impact of music or/and rather the memories it brings back, scarry shit. A week ago the troll was out and about, when Pink Floyd was turned on, and in a matter of fact the entire album in question was played. Without a doubt it threw the troll right back into a particular bed. Oooh? the mind says curiously. Yes, well, see, it is private, the troll explains. Today, many more songs has brought back different memories: good, bad, sad and happy. Maybe the troll should start singing instead of spending her days listening to music and letting the mind day dream away.
Saw the movie: V for vendetta, yesterday, liked it, made the mind dream of a revolution the lump was in charge off, against capitalism, wearing strange clothes. On the way home the troll met a friend in the bushes, a nice friend.
About the unity: mind + lump, i would like to quote Foucault: "A 'soul' inhabits him and brings him to existence, which is itself a factor in the mastery that power exercises over the body. The soul is the effect and instrument of a political anatomy; the soul is the prison of the body" YES, the troll agrees, so it is.
Hard to concentrate, the mind states. Tension in the air, something is about to happen, the lump whispers. oooh? what could it be? An unknown lump wants to meet the troll, could it be that? Noo, says the troll taking a step backwards. No unknown lumps will get the permission to met the troll, the mind declares. Okey, so it is then. Or it is? Yes it is, the mind screams and looks overwrought.
Music! The impact of music or/and rather the memories it brings back, scarry shit. A week ago the troll was out and about, when Pink Floyd was turned on, and in a matter of fact the entire album in question was played. Without a doubt it threw the troll right back into a particular bed. Oooh? the mind says curiously. Yes, well, see, it is private, the troll explains. Today, many more songs has brought back different memories: good, bad, sad and happy. Maybe the troll should start singing instead of spending her days listening to music and letting the mind day dream away.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
The lump is still at uni while the mind is already on her way to Cambodja, Benin, Norway, South-America and where not.. She is dreaming about excitement, new places, people, strange languages, tasty food, dirty clothes, salty water to swin in, wild parties, museum, tempels, fjords...oooh so much to explore, but so little money. The lump will put the back-pack on soon, though, the mind decided. There is always a way to make it happen. Besides the lump will drag the mind to the lighthouse on friday, for ten days.
The mind doesn't want to be connected to the lump today, oh noo. The troll is struggling to gather the unity but nah, it's not going to happen. The lump walks into walls and lookes confused, where is the mind?
The mind doesn't want to be connected to the lump today, oh noo. The troll is struggling to gather the unity but nah, it's not going to happen. The lump walks into walls and lookes confused, where is the mind?
Sunday, April 23, 2006
The cave, the sun and Leonard Cohen, hah!
The last days the troll has been spending lots of time with Per, both at GH and in the evenings, which is always fun. He is an entertaining man and relaxing to be around. Last night some amounts of alcohol was enjoyed, silly conversations, dancing at Dynis with karin, Per and lots of random people. Nothing too traumatic nor dyingly exciting happened.
The sun is shining, the troll should head out, yes, defenitely yes. Laziness has a firm grip, argh. Dr.Phil is in the background, oh nooo.
Yesterday the troll was told she is the oddest girl a good friend has even known. ooh, is she? Oddness is relative though. Odd compared to who/what and odd according to who..hmm. Oddness is defenitely not a bad thing, just a odd thing, i quess. odd !
The mind worries a bit about the red troll. What is he pondering? What does he think of it all? Is he angry/sad/confused/indifferent/happy? Don't know. Really hope he is alright, as he is a fantastic troll. The troll is sometimes too straight forward in her comments and wonders if she should/could have said things differently. The mind feels the red troll has no idea what happened. Remember that the troll,the mind and the lump is an odd unity, demanding one, silly one, confused one. Well, yes, will stop here.
The last days the troll has been spending lots of time with Per, both at GH and in the evenings, which is always fun. He is an entertaining man and relaxing to be around. Last night some amounts of alcohol was enjoyed, silly conversations, dancing at Dynis with karin, Per and lots of random people. Nothing too traumatic nor dyingly exciting happened.
The sun is shining, the troll should head out, yes, defenitely yes. Laziness has a firm grip, argh. Dr.Phil is in the background, oh nooo.
Yesterday the troll was told she is the oddest girl a good friend has even known. ooh, is she? Oddness is relative though. Odd compared to who/what and odd according to who..hmm. Oddness is defenitely not a bad thing, just a odd thing, i quess. odd !
The mind worries a bit about the red troll. What is he pondering? What does he think of it all? Is he angry/sad/confused/indifferent/happy? Don't know. Really hope he is alright, as he is a fantastic troll. The troll is sometimes too straight forward in her comments and wonders if she should/could have said things differently. The mind feels the red troll has no idea what happened. Remember that the troll,the mind and the lump is an odd unity, demanding one, silly one, confused one. Well, yes, will stop here.
Thursday, April 20, 2006
Everyday life is knocking on the door.
The last 2 days the troll: been to uni, the gym, survived the hang over, read quite a bit, wrote a sentence on the thesis, met friends, avoided nights out (not an easy task with the friends the troll have made) and most importantly the troll has gotten wonderful but crazy news:
one of the troll's all time closest friend is pregnant. She found out yesterday and the crazy thing is that she is already on the fifth month. The first thought was: hole crap, all the partying.. As she said, if she would have known she wouldn't ever touch alcohol. But the baby seems fine, has at least a very strong heartbeat, and she is very happy and her boyfriend is happy but also slightly chocked, i think. So, wow, we'll have a baby in the gang. I really really hope everything goes well and that the little baby will be healthy. It should come out to the real world in august.
Meanwhile the troll will retire from the title: juice master, and focus on herself, her thesis, her friends but also getting ready for some lighthouse living again. We'll see what the mind and the lump think about that. The lump gets the mind in trouble sometimes, but on the other hand the mind also gets the lump in trouble quite often.
The last 2 days the troll: been to uni, the gym, survived the hang over, read quite a bit, wrote a sentence on the thesis, met friends, avoided nights out (not an easy task with the friends the troll have made) and most importantly the troll has gotten wonderful but crazy news:
one of the troll's all time closest friend is pregnant. She found out yesterday and the crazy thing is that she is already on the fifth month. The first thought was: hole crap, all the partying.. As she said, if she would have known she wouldn't ever touch alcohol. But the baby seems fine, has at least a very strong heartbeat, and she is very happy and her boyfriend is happy but also slightly chocked, i think. So, wow, we'll have a baby in the gang. I really really hope everything goes well and that the little baby will be healthy. It should come out to the real world in august.
Meanwhile the troll will retire from the title: juice master, and focus on herself, her thesis, her friends but also getting ready for some lighthouse living again. We'll see what the mind and the lump think about that. The lump gets the mind in trouble sometimes, but on the other hand the mind also gets the lump in trouble quite often.
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Oh la la, what a monday night.
The day started with hang out with Per, watched a few movies: Tsutsi and The way to Guantanamo, interesting. Had a good time.
The evening continued with the lump going to meet Henrika, a sailor, for "one" beer.Well one turned into many and lots of craziness. The lump was offered to be put in a car by a circus artist and be driven to a bridge out in middle of nowhere, where the circus artist would show her something.. after which he would take her home with him and keep her there. The offer sounded quite interesting but rather strange so the mind told the lump no.
Well then the lump and henrika continued the evening, met someone the troll used to work with, being a bartended a few years ago. Henrika and the man looked at each other with a look saying: sweet dude, so that was settled then. The lump was offered drink after shot after shot... and had to make a drink and run move. Managed to get home somehow, didn't feel like a princess, woke up, defenitely not feeling like a princess.
Suffered suffered suffered but was convinced to go for lunch, sat outside by the river in the sun, that helped. Nice !
The day started with hang out with Per, watched a few movies: Tsutsi and The way to Guantanamo, interesting. Had a good time.
The evening continued with the lump going to meet Henrika, a sailor, for "one" beer.Well one turned into many and lots of craziness. The lump was offered to be put in a car by a circus artist and be driven to a bridge out in middle of nowhere, where the circus artist would show her something.. after which he would take her home with him and keep her there. The offer sounded quite interesting but rather strange so the mind told the lump no.
Well then the lump and henrika continued the evening, met someone the troll used to work with, being a bartended a few years ago. Henrika and the man looked at each other with a look saying: sweet dude, so that was settled then. The lump was offered drink after shot after shot... and had to make a drink and run move. Managed to get home somehow, didn't feel like a princess, woke up, defenitely not feeling like a princess.
Suffered suffered suffered but was convinced to go for lunch, sat outside by the river in the sun, that helped. Nice !
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Sunday, the trollish lump left the cave.
A slight hang over from last night. The actual dinner was a bloody mess, but the evening good. Lots of sillyness, laughter and discussions. Today has been a perfect sunday including friends, food, walk in the fantastic weather: blue sky and rather warm, film (The constant gardener = i warmly recommend). Lots of pondering and discussion about never lasting relationships, flings and partners in general.
Time for the mind to focus on the individual worker under the rule of capitalism. Individual's rights, work conditions, economic systems/realities, sweatshop factories and alienation. Can a parallell between Marx's theory of alienation and Foucault's society of control be made? Is the aspect of the individual worker neglected in a modern economic discussion, hmm, what does mr.Negri say about that?
Hmm, well, the mind is doing all the work while the lump is hanging around, sniffing the air, sitting around, hugging, running like a mad troll, drinking, dancing and what not. ooh, the mind thinks, as long as it doesn't have to be dragged along, but oh yes it will be there, experiencing it all, from a first persona perspective, or at least almost.
A slight hang over from last night. The actual dinner was a bloody mess, but the evening good. Lots of sillyness, laughter and discussions. Today has been a perfect sunday including friends, food, walk in the fantastic weather: blue sky and rather warm, film (The constant gardener = i warmly recommend). Lots of pondering and discussion about never lasting relationships, flings and partners in general.
Time for the mind to focus on the individual worker under the rule of capitalism. Individual's rights, work conditions, economic systems/realities, sweatshop factories and alienation. Can a parallell between Marx's theory of alienation and Foucault's society of control be made? Is the aspect of the individual worker neglected in a modern economic discussion, hmm, what does mr.Negri say about that?
Hmm, well, the mind is doing all the work while the lump is hanging around, sniffing the air, sitting around, hugging, running like a mad troll, drinking, dancing and what not. ooh, the mind thinks, as long as it doesn't have to be dragged along, but oh yes it will be there, experiencing it all, from a first persona perspective, or at least almost.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Back to a lumpish reality of pondering and slow motion.
It has been two weeks in a cave; a lump, an escaping mind, and a red troll. Much and nothing has happen. Thoughts and questions have gotten one and many answers. The lump will continue moving forward while the mind is out and about. The red troll will hopefully keep on searching for the redness in the troll and make it stronger. The lump, the mind and the red troll will not search for a cave of their own. They will sit at opposite sides of the river, and slowly wave at each other once in a while. A friendly wave!
Tonight is the night for the last supper party. Soup will be made, wine will be tasted, bread will maybe be baked and drunkness satisfaction will be achieved.
The lump is trying to grab the mind that is spinning around like a formula 1 wheel, as the unity of the lump and the mind need to go to the vegetable market. Ooh, here we go..
It has been two weeks in a cave; a lump, an escaping mind, and a red troll. Much and nothing has happen. Thoughts and questions have gotten one and many answers. The lump will continue moving forward while the mind is out and about. The red troll will hopefully keep on searching for the redness in the troll and make it stronger. The lump, the mind and the red troll will not search for a cave of their own. They will sit at opposite sides of the river, and slowly wave at each other once in a while. A friendly wave!
Tonight is the night for the last supper party. Soup will be made, wine will be tasted, bread will maybe be baked and drunkness satisfaction will be achieved.
The lump is trying to grab the mind that is spinning around like a formula 1 wheel, as the unity of the lump and the mind need to go to the vegetable market. Ooh, here we go..
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