Silent like a wall

Trollet is silent like a wall. Partner is asking her to speak, asking her to say what she feels, thinks about and what she wants. Trollet is silent. She feels like she is inside a metal box and no matter how loud she screams noone can hear her. It is okey being in the metal box as she doesn't know what to say. Partner is pushing her to say it. say it. What the bloody hell does she want? The mind is very confused. The lump is tired and Trollet is just sad. The unity doesn't work at all. She knows that partner is trying, really trying to make her happy and make the relationship work, but she is in the box and can't be reached. The box is also getting thicker and trollet is sinking further down. Every other day the mind wants to open the box and be present. Be present in -now-, be present in the relationship. Every other day she wants to close the box, glue it tight together, with her inside.

Trollet knows that it isn't an easy task being involved with the mind, the lump and trollet. The mind might be rowing away in cold water, the lump might be extremely lazy and absent while Trollet is just out and about. On the other hand she also belives that the unity is, once in a while, a lovely unity to be involved with. Most of the time she is happy, passionate about things, spontanious, wild, caring, and present. This is not how it is now. Sorry.