About Being Lonely

Trollet has again been out an about. Theatre, wine, more wine, good discussions and last night when Trollet was laying on her sofa completely dead from the night before and a busy day at work, they informed her that they will come over with a box of wine, tapas and a good spirit. Again a good night. Trollet has been talking about being lonely in crowds before, and being lonely even though you are two. She is realizing that she has never been lonelier than when she has been in a relationship. What, how can she say that? Easily. She has been with people that haven’t really understood her or the way she is. Then you easily feel lonely and very misunderstood. Trollet is not saying that it has always been like that nor all relationships she has had, but at least the last two. The other person is constantly there, in one way or another, but never really at all. Now that she is in that aspect alone, relationship wise, she doesn’t feel lonely at all. Almost contrary. She hasn’t had much time to herself, which she hasn’t needed, which she usually does, when she is in a relationship. She has people round her all the time, sure, but it is not the physical presence she is talking about. It is a feeling. The people she has around her are people that, at least in some sense, understand her, and makes life feel very -now and here-. They don't make her feel lonely, which one easily feels when surrounded by people one is not comfortable with. It is horrific to think that she has had a relationship with someone she thinks she feels good with, thinks she want to be with and yet feel so lonely. What has she been thinking? Anyways, the point was not to discuss past relationships but rather say: hey Trollet is not feeling lonely, which she has felt more or less for more than a year. Lonely in many ways, despite the constant comings and goings. Trollet is back to being Trollet. Oh yes, feels good. Wonder where she was, here for a while? Maybe in lonesome town that Rick Nelson sings about. Ha ha, okey that was maybe a bit over dramatic. Lonesome town is a very sad place to visit. Luckily she is not a regular quest.

Trollet is going to Helsinki, to stay with K. She is also meeting up with a special friend. It will be great. On Monday and Tuesday she will attend a conference. The weather is shaise but she doesn’t really mind at all. So what that you get a bit wet when you go out?