It's been a while

Trollet has not been hiding, Trollet has actually been busy. So, yeah, she found out that she got both jobs: the one in Benin and the one in Paris! What to do? Actually it was an easy choice. Benin it is. She couldn't hide her excitement to finally get the job she has been longing for, for so long. Now there was/is much to do and prepare. Vaccinations, medicines, plane ticket, visa, what to do with the apartment and so on. She takes off the 2nd of January, so quite soon indeed. Trollet has been in contact with a girl that worked there, at Villa Karo, last spring and the girl that is there now. Lovely people. She got a lot of useful information. It will be hot, very hot, when she is there. she was told that February-march is the worst, that it can be up to 55 degrees Celsius.. Oh great, she doesn't actually cope with heat very well, but now she will just have to. It is worth it. Worth the suffering. Worth the sweating.

Someone and Rufus has still been in her life. Someone less present as someone decides to take distance from Trollet, to Trollet’s disappointment. But as you can't force someone to be in your life if they don't want to or can't handle it, then you just have to wait until things get back to normal, some sort of normal, whatever that is. She has to admit that she misses someone. Actually a lot. Rufus hasn't been here so actively either. Once in a while, which is nice. Trollet doesn't really need more than that. She is too focused on Benin that she has a hard time with close relationships. Keeping everyone at a distance feels much safer. Safer for the mind, the feelings and the longing she will/would experience when she is sitting there alone and nostalgic in the heat of west Africa. No more mess.

She has also realized that her job actually ends soon. Then she has been working there almost a year, with a few months off during summer time. She has enjoyed it. Especially the people. They are great. She might not work there ever again. The idea feels strange. A colleague told Trollet today that of course she has to come back one day. Yes, of course.. but sadly that -of course- is not so guaranteed. They might not have a job to offer her. Maybe she stays in West Africa, who knows. She has no clue, as all she knows is that she will work at Villa Karo from 1.1-31.5.2008 and then travel for 2 months. When she comes home she will most likely be very lost.