Why is it so that one has perfectly clear thoughts at night. Things make sense and well formed sentences pop up in the darkness. You feel like you should and want to get up and write these thoughts and well formed sentences down, but you are convinced you'll have them as clearly in front of you in the morning, but you never do. Why don't we learn to simply get up and write them down? Trollet has done it a few times and it has turned out to be the best things she ever wrote. She hasn't done it for the past two years. Maybe she hasn't had so clear thoughts. Last night she did. Sentence after sentence just kept on appearing. It was fantastic text. It was text produced by the mind. Text she was proud of. Text she thought she could quote here. Text she now has no memory off. Damn. She wants that bloody text. It is hers. Could it be that the words she didn't write down now appears in someone elses head, in the darkness? Maybe her neighbour will get famous for these words. Damn, they are hers. Give my sentences back!
She has an idea though. She has been reading a PhD dissertation in philosophy with the title: "The fear of openness: An essay on Friendship and the Roots of Morality" which has made her think quite a lot. It is extremely well written. Openness, what is that and is Trollet open in her relationships, both in love and friendship? She would of course like to say that: sure, open as a book, but is it always so? Openness is between people, just like Joel writes.
Let me quote him: "...openness, an absolutely ungarded, entirely personal communion between people in which nothing is held back - and that, morally and existentially speaking, this is also what is at stake in our relationship with each other quite generally... We desire openness, but at the same time we fear it and feel a need to reject it...The drama of our lives is played out in a constant tension between our desire for openness and our fear of it: this tension gives moral and existential questions their urgency."
He also writes about being alone in crowds, alone in relationships, friendship and fellowship ,which made Trollet smile, as she has been thinking about quite a bit lately. Trollet thinks that all this reading last night made her mind jump and made up some beautiful text itself. Maybe the secret then is to continue reading and hope that her text will reappear in her mind. Sounds like a good plans as she is quite into this book now!
2 comments:
Greets from the one who always writes in the night. Simply cause it´s better!
And think of this - some of the best ideas in the world have been produced by people in that stage between being sleep and awake.
Very very true, writing at night is simply better. I should simply get my ass out of bed and write when i feel the text coming, usually just too tired to do it... damn. But true, best pieces if written art is produced at night, in that "not really awake" state of mind. Should do it more.
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